an orphanage in China

     So this is me,  ma's first chance to post.  I should be packing for leaving tomorrow,  but AG was not going to sleep,  so Pa was going to turn down the lights and read in bathroom,  and I am in boys' room.  Today,  a little of her defiance came out several times.  But some is our fault,  we took a 3 hour round trip to see a shaolin ( THE SHAOLIN) KUNGFU temple of China.   Young men come from all over China and some from around the world to study shaoling kungfu for 6-8 months---20,000 were there.  Also there are over 200 stone pagodas,  graves to important buddhists--the oldest from 700s AD.  AG's schedule is off,  she is missing naps,  and to bed too late--not good for a 4 year old!
     Yesterday was a hard day.  We had planned to go to Xinxiang City-- a city of about 3 million where AG was found and where she "lived" in an orphanage till about 15 months old,  right after her cleft lip surgery,  when she was transferred to her amazingly wonderful Christian foster group home in Beijing.  At first,  when we talked to the director Monday,  she said we couldn't visit,  because of colds. We said we were coming anyway and would just see outside.  Our guide, EVan,  did some miracles,  because we were allowed in !  140 kids in the orphanage,  40 under 4,  the rest older,  most,  supposedly with mental retardation. We only saw older kids from afar.  We went upstairs and saw 3 supposedly developmentally delayed babies in "therapy",  being held in sitting position, while nannies watched tv.  We saw an empty room with 6-8 small bunkbeds for older kids,  and then we went into room where they supposedly showed us AG's crib.  There were about 8 babies in 2 adjoining rooms, crammed with cribs,  2 to a bed,  bundled with blankets,  flat on their backs,  all awake,  staring up in space.  In one 2-baby crib,  I saw a  baby with unrepaired unilateral incomplete cleft lip (more minor), then I looked at other side of crib,  and there was AG--a baby with a complete unilateral cleft lip.  Some of the babies had sores--some kind of bug bites on their faces--who knows about the rest of their bodies--covered with lots of blankets.  I quietly lost it,  burying my head on Pa's shoulder--my daughter was left staring up in space,  getting a flat head,  no interaction,  minimal holding,  for most of the beginning 15 months of her life!  I knew I had to get control--I don't want to jeopardize others' chances to witness this reality.  We knew this was one of the poorest orphanages in China.  We know if we ever visit again,  they will have moved into the new orphanage they are building,  but without quality care,  who cares about the moldy walls,  and stinky squat potties,  and drafty windows!  If you check out henankidsinternational.org,  you will find a picture of the front of the orphanage.  There are over 1/2 million kids in orphanages throughout China,  and many more in other living situations.   I feel so sad,  so powerless.  We were there only minutes in the room with the babies,  I looked at them and talked to them,  but was scared to touch their faces, because I didn't know if their bites were scabies,  and I didn't want to give it to my daughter.  I regret that now,  and wish I would have touched a few of them,  stroked their faces,  told them the there is a God who sees and hurts because of their suffering far more than I.  Please pray for the parentless babies and kids who are suffering and neglected.  Not all orphanages in China are like this one--many have new buildings and better staff.  But Henan is one of the poorest and most populated provinces in China.  The city of Xinxiang was very poor,  even worse than where we are---Zhengzhou,  the capital,  a city of 5 million.  I just looked at a few of the pics J. took--they are trying to make things pretty,  bows on beds and cute sheets,  but I only saw one nanny in room,  no rocking chairs,  no crying,  no babies being fed, even though all the 8 babies were awake.  Why cry when you are not heard?  I praise God my daughter was nurtured and brought to a place where we saw cleft babies being held,  all the nannies,  sitting on the floor,  playing with the kids,  no tv on,  obvious attachment between babies and nannies.  How long oh Lord,  must children suffer and be without love and proper care?  James 1:27.